I was on CNN this morning and I came across an article from Cherry Hill NJ about a father of a 10 year old Autistic boy, who has mild to severe autism and he is some what non verbal, who was being told by his teachers that his son was become violent. Now I strongly believe that most Autistic kids are not naturally violent, they don't hurt people or throw things because they want to hurt, they do this things because they can't communicate how frustrated they are, or angry, or sad, they just can not express themselves.
And in this case we see a father that truly knows his son, and he knows that his son is not violent, his a loving happy ten year old boy. So he wires his son and send him to school, and that night what he hears in that recording explains why his son is violent and not because he is being bullied by other kids, or because his just violent, no, is because the teachers and aids in the class room are the ones doing the bullying.
Imagine for a second, but yourself in this father's shoes, you have a ten year old boy who can't tell you that his teacher are calling him names or that they are hurting his feelings, and imagine how helpless you will feel as a parent, and imagine the guilt of knowing that you were sending him to that class with those people.
The father took the recording to the school, the aid got fired, but the teacher were moved to another classroom, allowing them to be around children, allowing them to keep working, keeping everything quiet.
Its incredibly disturbing that the school system is not acknowledging what is going on, the opposite, they are trying to cover it up.
And the father only wants an apology, he is not going to sue the school, there is no law suit, he just wants a public apology from the teachers acknowledging that they did something wrong, so this man can tell his son one that it wasn't his fault.
And you know the worse part, Autistic children have no malice, they don't understand that there is people out there that are willing to hurt you, they don't have a bad bone in their body. They are even unable to LIE!! Yes, they are incredible smart, at least my son uses his Autism against me, but I am proud of that, am glad he does that, because that tells me that he is bright, smart and sneaky lol but his unable to lie, he is unable to recognize bad people.
http://youtu.be/tfkscHt96R0
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Living with Autsim: IEP Meeting for Alex's progress.... or complaints ...
Living with Autsim: IEP Meeting for Alex's progress.... or complaints ...: Ok so I went to the yearly meeting over at Freedom Elementary to see Alex's progress and his "issues". Alex is actually working with the IPA...
IEP Meeting for Alex's progress.... or complaints in this case.
Ok so I went to the yearly meeting over at Freedom Elementary to see Alex's progress and his "issues". Alex is actually working with the IPAD which is great, and means that I will have to invest in one. He is great with puzzles and physical activities.
But.. surprise surprise Alex is very resistant to things that don't interest him. If he is willing to do something then there is the chance to improve him in that particular activity, if he is not, then there is no way that you will get him to do it. And he has the attitude to do what he wants to do when ever he feels like doing it, there is no particular time that you can get him to do it, is when ever he wants, and he will get what he wants at whatever cost, or how loud his tantrums are.
Another thing that his teacher asked and I quote "you should get him tested for super human qualities"... huh? well, Alex is extremely strong for his age, other autistic kids you can guide their hands and no matter how resistant they are you will always be stronger than they are... not Alex, Alex can get the biggest man tired, because he is extremely strong, is pretty incredible. I got that from when he was like 1 1/2 when I found him holding a small plasma tv up because it was falling on him.... he was just there holding it up, he couldn't even walk at the time, he could stand holding on to things... but not walking completely.. so I know for a fact that he is very strong for his age. And to get him to do something the hard way is impossible because you are not able to force him.
So like my mother says, leave the teacher to teach and you are the one who educates him. And I realized something, everything that Alex has been able to do, is because I have fought him all the way, other wise he wouldn't do ... anything... And I am extremely forceful with him because I want him to be able to do the basic stuff without depending on others to do them, and for that I have had to force him, not physically, I understand that physically I can't force him because now is an issue, but when he gets older is going to be a problem. I am 5 ft, Alex is going to be at least 6f taller than me by the age of 15... so I know that I will not be able to match him physically in the future so I try to force him to do stuff by nagging him, by repeating everything 100 thousand times and be on top of him 24/7.... but that is my job, and I know he learns that way, but is much difficult with teachers and OP therapist and everyone else because they don't have the time, but I do... and I will get him to accept the fact that he is not going to be able to do everything he wants when he wants it, because that is not how life works, but I can't do that in a day, his only 5, like I told the teacher, maybe by the age of 10 he'll get it, but not right now.
Another thing... they haven't really found anything that interests him, nor is he a child that asks for much. Yeah if he wants to play or for you to tickle him, he'll get out of his world long enough to enjoy it, but other wise you can leave Alex is a room with everything he needs and he will not bother you... at all... and that worries the teachers, because there is not really anything that gets his attention real well, except being outside. And I told the teachers and OP and speech therapist, well, maybe that is what he is trying to tell us, his interest has to be an activity outside, but until we find what it is, he just likes to be outside and be able to be free....
He has a very difficult road ahead of him... but I can get him there.
But.. surprise surprise Alex is very resistant to things that don't interest him. If he is willing to do something then there is the chance to improve him in that particular activity, if he is not, then there is no way that you will get him to do it. And he has the attitude to do what he wants to do when ever he feels like doing it, there is no particular time that you can get him to do it, is when ever he wants, and he will get what he wants at whatever cost, or how loud his tantrums are.
Another thing that his teacher asked and I quote "you should get him tested for super human qualities"... huh? well, Alex is extremely strong for his age, other autistic kids you can guide their hands and no matter how resistant they are you will always be stronger than they are... not Alex, Alex can get the biggest man tired, because he is extremely strong, is pretty incredible. I got that from when he was like 1 1/2 when I found him holding a small plasma tv up because it was falling on him.... he was just there holding it up, he couldn't even walk at the time, he could stand holding on to things... but not walking completely.. so I know for a fact that he is very strong for his age. And to get him to do something the hard way is impossible because you are not able to force him.
So like my mother says, leave the teacher to teach and you are the one who educates him. And I realized something, everything that Alex has been able to do, is because I have fought him all the way, other wise he wouldn't do ... anything... And I am extremely forceful with him because I want him to be able to do the basic stuff without depending on others to do them, and for that I have had to force him, not physically, I understand that physically I can't force him because now is an issue, but when he gets older is going to be a problem. I am 5 ft, Alex is going to be at least 6f taller than me by the age of 15... so I know that I will not be able to match him physically in the future so I try to force him to do stuff by nagging him, by repeating everything 100 thousand times and be on top of him 24/7.... but that is my job, and I know he learns that way, but is much difficult with teachers and OP therapist and everyone else because they don't have the time, but I do... and I will get him to accept the fact that he is not going to be able to do everything he wants when he wants it, because that is not how life works, but I can't do that in a day, his only 5, like I told the teacher, maybe by the age of 10 he'll get it, but not right now.
Another thing... they haven't really found anything that interests him, nor is he a child that asks for much. Yeah if he wants to play or for you to tickle him, he'll get out of his world long enough to enjoy it, but other wise you can leave Alex is a room with everything he needs and he will not bother you... at all... and that worries the teachers, because there is not really anything that gets his attention real well, except being outside. And I told the teachers and OP and speech therapist, well, maybe that is what he is trying to tell us, his interest has to be an activity outside, but until we find what it is, he just likes to be outside and be able to be free....
He has a very difficult road ahead of him... but I can get him there.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Living with Autsim: Autism Awareness Month (Letter to Alex)
Living with Autsim: Autism Awareness Month (Letter to Alex): I saw this on Cafemom and I thought it was a great idea, in Celebration of the start of Autism Awareness Month to write a letter to your kid...
Autism Awareness Month (Letter to Alex)
I saw this on Cafemom and I thought it was a great idea, in Celebration of the start of Autism Awareness Month to write a letter to your kid, to a child or a person you know that has autism.
Dear Alex.
5 years ago my life completely changed. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have made me grow up, you have taught me responsibility, patience and the most important one, love, pure and simple love, without question or convenience, without malice or resentment. Before you I asked myself why I was the way I was, and what was my purpose, before you I never really finished anything, and I was very angry for a very long time for things that were so insignificant.
Then you came, and my world changed. You were so precious and unique and you were all mine. I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you.
Then you were diagnosed with Autism. It was shocking, scary, overwhelming and very confusing. But I knew, that that couldn't stop me, my first reaction to this was, "well, whats next, what can we do?" it was wasn't to break down and cry and regret and feel guilt. I figured that out about myself, i am not the time of person that breaks down, because I can't afford to. You taught me that, and you have come so far and you have done so great, and am so proud to be your mom.
I will be on this earth for as long as I can to teach you how to be yourself, to be the best that you can be, because you can do anything!!
I am so great full to you because you made me realize why I am the way I am, and the reason I was put on this earth. And you are very loved because your a special boy.
LOVE
MOM
Dear Alex.
5 years ago my life completely changed. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have made me grow up, you have taught me responsibility, patience and the most important one, love, pure and simple love, without question or convenience, without malice or resentment. Before you I asked myself why I was the way I was, and what was my purpose, before you I never really finished anything, and I was very angry for a very long time for things that were so insignificant.
Then you came, and my world changed. You were so precious and unique and you were all mine. I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you.
Then you were diagnosed with Autism. It was shocking, scary, overwhelming and very confusing. But I knew, that that couldn't stop me, my first reaction to this was, "well, whats next, what can we do?" it was wasn't to break down and cry and regret and feel guilt. I figured that out about myself, i am not the time of person that breaks down, because I can't afford to. You taught me that, and you have come so far and you have done so great, and am so proud to be your mom.
I will be on this earth for as long as I can to teach you how to be yourself, to be the best that you can be, because you can do anything!!
I am so great full to you because you made me realize why I am the way I am, and the reason I was put on this earth. And you are very loved because your a special boy.
LOVE
MOM
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Living with Autsim: Schedules and Robots!!
Living with Autsim: Schedules and Robots!!: So I was talking to my therapist about making Alex a Calendar so he sees the days that he has school, and the days that he doesn't, so he do...
Schedules and Robots!!
So I was talking to my therapist about making Alex a Calendar so he sees the days that he has school, and the days that he doesn't, so he doesn't get confused. She asked if I wanted to go even further and make him a schedule of his whole day... and I thought about it... and I figured out that I don't want that. I know that some parents have down on the schedule when the kids brush their teeth when they can play.. and that to me is so insane... when do they have time to be kids??
Yes, they are special needs, but they understand, they comprehend what is going on, they even use their disability against you lol i mean Alex is extremely bright and very independent, why would I take that away and make him into a robot, control everything he does and everything that happens (which btw, you can't control the freaking universe, as parents of autistic kids we need to understand that there will be situations that you will not be able to control) so he doesn't have a meltdown?
I can tell Alex to get dress that we are going out spontaneously and he would not have a problem, like at all, is the opposite he brings his shoes lol why because I know that there are situations that we can not control and if he gets use to it then there is no problem.
We sometimes make it harder for our selfs, my mom has a saying that routine makes the monk, whatever you get him use to, is whatever he is going to be familiar with and comfortable with. Why schedule him to death and not give him time to be a kid?? because it makes it easier on you?
for kids that have a social disorder they usually crave being around other children and around people, at least Alex does, so taking him to the park unexpectedly is a treat to him not chaos cause its out of his schedule..you know... like a regular kid!
I know when my son needs time to adjust and to feel comfortable, I know when I need to back up, I am pretty good in foreseeing a meltdown and I try always to prevent it, with a soothing voice and constant reminder that i am here and that everything is alright. I try not to panic or get upset.. why? cause they feel everything you feel, you know when a blind person can hear better than anyone else, is because they develop their hearing more to make up for the lack of sight, well I strongly believe that my child has developed more his instincts because of his lack of communication, so he picks up from me and his environment.
I try to keep calm, if something doesn't go according to "plan" which in my world it never does lol, I keep my self under control so he doesn't feel out of control. Sometimes I think that parents do more harm than good sometimes and they over work themselves and they over think everything to death, they don't relax so by the time their child is 10, they have nervous issues, panic attacks and everything else. Its not worth it I think, if you go with the flow you will get more results and a happier child.
Yes, they are special needs, but they understand, they comprehend what is going on, they even use their disability against you lol i mean Alex is extremely bright and very independent, why would I take that away and make him into a robot, control everything he does and everything that happens (which btw, you can't control the freaking universe, as parents of autistic kids we need to understand that there will be situations that you will not be able to control) so he doesn't have a meltdown?
I can tell Alex to get dress that we are going out spontaneously and he would not have a problem, like at all, is the opposite he brings his shoes lol why because I know that there are situations that we can not control and if he gets use to it then there is no problem.
We sometimes make it harder for our selfs, my mom has a saying that routine makes the monk, whatever you get him use to, is whatever he is going to be familiar with and comfortable with. Why schedule him to death and not give him time to be a kid?? because it makes it easier on you?
for kids that have a social disorder they usually crave being around other children and around people, at least Alex does, so taking him to the park unexpectedly is a treat to him not chaos cause its out of his schedule..you know... like a regular kid!
I know when my son needs time to adjust and to feel comfortable, I know when I need to back up, I am pretty good in foreseeing a meltdown and I try always to prevent it, with a soothing voice and constant reminder that i am here and that everything is alright. I try not to panic or get upset.. why? cause they feel everything you feel, you know when a blind person can hear better than anyone else, is because they develop their hearing more to make up for the lack of sight, well I strongly believe that my child has developed more his instincts because of his lack of communication, so he picks up from me and his environment.
I try to keep calm, if something doesn't go according to "plan" which in my world it never does lol, I keep my self under control so he doesn't feel out of control. Sometimes I think that parents do more harm than good sometimes and they over work themselves and they over think everything to death, they don't relax so by the time their child is 10, they have nervous issues, panic attacks and everything else. Its not worth it I think, if you go with the flow you will get more results and a happier child.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)