Thursday, March 29, 2012

Schedules and Robots!!

So I was talking to my therapist about making Alex a Calendar so he sees the days that he has school, and the days that he doesn't, so he doesn't get confused. She asked if I wanted to go even further and make him a schedule of his whole day... and I thought about it... and I figured out that I don't want that. I know that some parents have down on the schedule when the kids brush their teeth when they can play.. and that to me is so insane... when do they have time to be kids??

Yes, they are special needs, but they understand, they comprehend what is going on, they even use their disability against you lol i mean Alex is extremely bright and very independent, why would I take that away and make him into a robot, control everything he does and everything that happens (which btw, you can't control the freaking universe, as parents of autistic kids we need to understand that there will be situations that you will not be able to control) so he doesn't have a meltdown?
 I can tell Alex to get dress that we are going out spontaneously and he would not have a problem, like at all, is the opposite he brings his shoes lol why because I know that there are situations that we can not control and if he gets use to it then there is no problem.

We sometimes make it harder for our selfs, my mom has a saying that routine makes the monk, whatever you get him use to, is whatever he is going to be familiar with and comfortable with. Why schedule him to death and not give him time to be a kid?? because it makes it easier on you?
 for kids that have a social disorder they usually crave being around other children and around people, at least Alex does, so taking him to the park unexpectedly is a treat to him not chaos cause its out of his know... like a regular kid!

I know when my son needs time to adjust and to feel comfortable, I know when I need to back up, I am pretty good in foreseeing a meltdown and I try always to prevent it, with a soothing voice and constant reminder that i am here and that everything is alright. I try not to panic or get upset.. why? cause they feel everything you feel, you know when a blind person can hear better than anyone else, is because they develop their hearing more to make up for the lack of sight, well I strongly believe that my child has developed more his instincts because of his lack of communication, so he picks up from me and his environment.

I try to keep calm, if something doesn't go according to "plan" which in my world it never does lol, I keep my self under control so he doesn't feel out of control. Sometimes I think that parents do more harm than good sometimes and they over work themselves and they over think everything to death, they don't relax so by the time their child is 10, they have nervous issues, panic attacks and everything else. Its not worth it I think, if you go with the flow you will get more results and a happier child.

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