Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Living with Autsim: "Latest Work"

Living with Autsim: "Latest Work": Ok, so I have mentioned before that I am a member of Cafemom.com and that I do belong to support group for Mother of Autistic Children, and ...

"Latest Work"

Ok, so I have mentioned before that I am a member of Cafemom.com and that I do belong to support group for Mother of Autistic Children, and a few weeks ago this mother, her screen name is destiny29, and she uploaded an amazing picture that she did with watercolor to describe her child and what he likes. To me it just shows not only the fact that as Mothers of Autistic children we are sooo intoned with our kids that we see them differently, we understand them completely, but that this lady has an amazing talent!


So above is a link to that cafemom.com post to show you the picture that destiny29 did, I think its great, she has an amazing talent and complete understanding of her child.
And she actually does pictures for others if anyone is interested, she just needs a picture and she needs to know what your child likes and she does it for you.
Please check out the link and it hopefully shows you a lil bit of what Autism is and how the mothers see it.

Friday, January 27, 2012


There has been a lot of changes in our household starting the new Year. My MIL has moved back in and Alex has been showing some behavior issues, because of the changes.
And I am proud member of Cafemom.com and I am a member of two support groups for mothers of autistic children, and I asked for advice regarding this issue. And it brought to my attention that most mothers of autistic children work from instincts, it has become very hard to explain things to my MIL because of the fact that I can not explain what I do every day because I just do it.
Many mothers on Cafemom.com and in those specific groups, work with their instincts as well, because that's the only way we can understand them, and thats the best way to help them.
I have talked to the therapist, and like i have said before, i have already set up a therapy session with a translator for my MIL because I can not explain half of what I do with Alex.

My mother would call this mother's love and mother's intuition, and she is right, I have developed a sixth sense only for Alex, my husband actually thinks that I have eyes in the back of my head, but I don't, I can literary smell if Alex does #2 from the living room, I know where he is and what he is doing when he is too quiet (naturally with any child, if they are too quiet, there is something going on, or their sleeping).

And going to Cafemom today and reading some of these mother's responses, and we all have that in common even tho our children are totally different. We work on instincts, we do what we can everyday but we can't actually explain to another human being what it is that we do, I personally can't, especially to a person that has no idea what Autism is. I mean, you can read and research Autism all you want, but theory is always different than practice, you have to be around Autism, you have to open your self mentally to be able to understand, and one thing that is very important especially with Alex, emotion has to be separate from logic, Alex does not respond to emotion, he doesn't know how to read it, he doesn't know what the hell it means, what works with him is logic, is either black or white, i am not saying you can't hug or kiss him, it just means that he sees it as a game, not as affection, and that is hard enough to deal with, but again, its logic not emotion that is involved.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Living with Autsim: Involving MIL into Therapy

Living with Autsim: Involving MIL into Therapy: So, MIL moved in a couple of weeks ago, and we have been dealing with behavior issues sense she moved back in, he is acting up, his anxiety ...

Involving MIL into Therapy

So, MIL moved in a couple of weeks ago, and we have been dealing with behavior issues sense she moved back in, he is acting up, his anxiety level has gone up ( and if you know or research autism, you would know that all Autistic children have anxiety issues), so he has gone back to doing things that he hasn't done in a long time. So I spoke to his doc and she told me that I needed to include her in the group so she can understand him more, and so she can get in the same page with us.
I spoke to his therapist and I have an appt set up for next week with the therapist and a translator so we can all sit together and talk. FUN!!
The thing is, she is one of those ppl that she fears what she doesn't understand, except she is not scared, she just feels sorry for him. Last time he had a meltdown, she walked away and the husband found her crying in her room, I understand where she is coming from, really I do, cause I was there, but I didn't have time to dwell on it, I just did what I had to do to get him Help, so right now am a bit inpatient with her, but thats not her fault, thats mine.
So, we have set up a plan for her to follow, so she can recognize things and be able to deal with them.
Truth is, living with Alex is like playing "discover the treasure" all day long, why? Ok, Alex is NON-VERBAL he can't speak, but he can show you what he wants, so half of the time, i don't know whats wrong with him, but I sit and I observe him. In her case, she asks over and over again whats wrong with him, it has come to the point that I stopped answering, not trying to be rude, but I just can't handle the stress of dealing with him and with her and her questions, I just can't, I am a person that can do one thing at a time, and I like to focus on him only when he wants me to figure out something, call me creazy!
She would have to learn how to observer him, and identify the object or his needs, and then address it, if is a negative, you tell him NO, and if she can't handle it, she has to walk away.
So, next week will be eventful to say the least. FUN!

Living with Autism!

Hey, am a SAHM to my wonderful 4 year old autistic son Alex. I live with my hubby Laz and my MIL Betty. Well now that we know all the players I can start with story.

Alex was a wonderful baby, he slept through the night sense he was 4 1/2 months. He would look you in the eyes and gurgle when you spoke to him. But then, by the age of 1, things changed, he stopped responding, he stopped making eye contact. He wasn't hitting the milestones, we took him to the pediatrician, it was acknowledge that he was delayed, we took him to a neurologist, he said he was fine, we did MRI's, we did all kinds of test, including hearing test (4 of them in fact). And everything came out normal. We knew something was wrong, my mother, Izzy, she was a special educations teacher in Cuba, she kept telling me something was very wrong, we got him speech and occupational therapy but it did not seem to help much. He was 2 years old and Alex wasn't talking. His meltdowns were explosive, it was a very confusing time.

As a parent, you feel helpless, you don't know whats going on, you don't know what to do, how to help him. Especially when you have a neurologist telling you that he is a normal 2 year old, that he is just going through the terrible 2's. Its depressing, you go through the guilt, was it your fault? did I do something wrong? Was it that chicken that I ate while I was pregnant that didn't set well with me? was it the coffee that I drank? is my genes? then you move on because you have to, because you wake up in the morning and think, how can I make this day better for him? and you realize that he is who is, and no matter what happens Autism does not go away, there is no cure. Is like trying to cure homosexuality, you can't, they are born that way, and so was my son. So now I try to help him.

I moved to KY from FL, I got him into the school system here, we did various evaluations, we got him into the right program, into the right school, the right therapy. Right now he is only in pre-k, and only 4, I have a long road ahead of me, but you know what, I have discovered something about myself and my family. We don't give up, we keep on going, we don't stop, and that makes us stronger.

Next, when he turns 5, I will put him in the Michelle P Waiver, for those of you who don't know, its a programs only in the state of KY for kids with autism, they offer more therapy, more activities for him, they offer in home care, out home care and whatever else he needs.


Everyday is a struggle, but everyday is a day of discovery, of constant joy, of knowing that we are doing the best I can.